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personal reflection and growth/freshman advice

I don’t really post anything myself on tumblr, but let me post this.

Even though high school is a awful place, it taught me a lot. In three years, I’ve made countless mistakes, went through really rough times (emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually) and made good and bad memories. But more importantly, I changed as a person. The thought of changing as a person was scary to me when I was a freshman and to be truthful, it is (for a little bit).

Speaking of this, now is good time to accept that you will make questionable fashion, hair and/or makeup choices that will probably make you cringe by your senior year (I look back on things like this yearly and cringe, but that’s just me).

Physical change is also inevitable. Either you’ll go into high school in your awkward phase and come out looking better or you’ll come in already looking cute and come out looking the best version of yourself at that stage of your life. Some people bloom physically after high school, so don’t stress it!

Personality changes are also inevitable. I changed in some way every month, I matured up. But my junior year is the year where everything truly hit me (post secondary plans, APs, having a job, social life, graduating etc) even though I spent freshman year planning for that exact situation; its really easy to loose yourself in all that. When I was a freshman, I kinda piled on this thinking, stressing myself out, even though I had 3 years left to go. I’m not saying don’t think about these things, just chill out and enjoy your freshman year.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. Listen, I know school is important but its not worth nightly breakdowns. Every night, do something that makes you happy, whether that’d be soaking in the tub or making a face mask. Take a day off to recover from a breakdown, if you need to. If I would’ve listened to this, my major breakdowns from freshman and sophomore year could’ve been prevented. Take showers, exfoliate, moisturize etc.

Do things you’re actually passionate about for extracurriculars, not only because it’ll “look good” on your college application(s). Don’t become captain of the Speech & Debate team when you don’t even like Speech & Debate. It will only frustrate you, making your year 3x worse than it actually is.

On to friends. Now, I know that you’ve probably heard people say that you won’t have the same friends as you did in middle school, which has some truth to it. You won’t. People change, people die, drop out, change friend groups/schools/classes. You get into arguments or simply drift apart. I’m a reserved person, so I had a new friend group every year and I was okay with that. You might carry at least 2-4 people to senior year, but that depends on you. I honestly suggest mainly hanging out with people in your grade or 1 grade above you. If you only have upperclassmen friends, when they leave, you might not have anyone to socialize with because you don’t know anybody from your grade. Join clubs and go to events to meet more people!

This is optional, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to go to upperclassmen’s events as a freshman. Your moment will come!

Minding your business and only peeping drama (not commenting) and keeping your business to yourself will get you a long way, speaking from personal experience.

Do not let friends and/or associates try to press you for not drinking and/or using drugs. I honestly don’t recommend starting any shit like that your freshman year, but you can do what they want because I’m not yours or anybody else’s muva. Do it because you want to. I only smoked a blunt a few times ever in my life and only had sips of alcohol my sophomore year (don’t be like me).

Don’t try to be anyone you’re not. Being popular should not be a primary goal. Don’t come into high school trying to look “cool” in the eyes of the upperclassmen or anybody else. Listen, if you like being a hater, make a Hater Social to meet other people like you. If you want to wear Converse knee-high shoes, suspenders and scene hair like its 2012, do you! I can assure you you won’t see 97% of those people judging you while following your post-secondary plans.

I can understand that you’re scared or nervous, but I can assure you that pretty much 89% of the upperclassmen won’t bother you. You won’t get shoved into trash cans because you’re a freshman.

Relationships. Listen. Just don’t date an upperclassmen. I made that mistake countless times when I was a freshman, it was messy to say the least. When I came into high school, I could somewhat distinguish what was genuine attraction and what was just sexual attraction from the people that were into me. I enhanced that skill after freshman year, however. Have sex when you think you’re ready to, with somebody who you’re comfortable and protected with. I also don’t really recommend tying yourself down at such a young age, as feelings do change over the course of your high school career. Casual dating is key.

Don’t send them nudes, especially if they press you about it. Again, I’m not your muva so do as you like.

Grades. Just try to not end your freshman year with a 1.0 or .5 GPA. I made Cs, Bs and As my freshman year, but I had to work to get it to a place I was somewhat happy with. Also, try not to let your GPA define you too much. Please don’t bite off more than you can chew, academically and in your extracurricular pursuits.

Unless you know you’re ready for it, wait until a bit later in your high school career to take an AP. Ask teacher’s for help. Take electives related to what you possibly want to major/minor in (if you plan on going to college) and/or that interest you! You’ll do waaaay better in that class if you do.

Don’t come to class thinking you’re running shit, talking back to the teachers, not doing work and disrupting class. I can guarantee you when its time for recommendation season in a few years and you need some, you’re just gonna be short. This can apply to all grade levels though, I knew juniors who did this and didn’t get any recommendations for college their senior year because of it.

Oh yeah, don’t buy school supplies that you probably won’t use. Don’t bring all of said school supplies on the first day, you will loose nearly all of it by the end of first semester (speaking from personal experience). Don’t run in the hallways, at lunch and/or to lunch. Just don’t. PLEASE don’t bring a rolling backpack to school. Save it for trips.

All in all, try to make the best of your freshman year and your overall high school experience! Wishing you the best from now and so on!